The Banking Crisis

Given the snappy and surely familiar title, one could be forgiven for assuming that this is an intelligent and informed shot across the bow of the government, concerning yet another development in the fiscal, political-economic drama that has been unfolding since Lehmen Bros collapsed in 2008. In this climate, it makes more sense than anything else in fact. But it isn't.

Actually, it is an entirely personal (and probably less dramatic on a national scale) incident that concerns me, and brings the metaphorical pen to hand. I just had a phone call from Janice, ringing on behalf of Natwest, to deliver some not-so-wonderful news. My overdraft (standing at £1599.01 DR) is being recalled. Considering that I have no money and expected a good year to pay this back, I am in somewhat of a quandary. You see, it turns out that I have violated the terms and conditions of our 'agreement' somewhere along the line, giving them the right to withdraw my overdraft facility at any time. The clause they deemed me to have violated stipulates that "All student loan payments must be made into this account", and due to a mix-up with a payment made in 2008 I had had my second year's Michaelmas Term payment made into my other bank account instead. I tried to explain to Janice that this was an exception rather than the rule; was a good-faith mistake; and was made a bloody long time ago. The problem, readers, is that Janice is a heartless automaton employed by Natwest for her great advantage of having no apparent human emotions. A few dismissive "it's not my problem"'s and we are back to me having to find £1600 to fill Natwest's coffers.

With an element of desperation creeping into my speech, I try to thaw Janice's heart of ice and explain that I simply don't have any money with which to pay them back, and that rather reneging on my responsibilities, the very purpose of my gap year is to pay off any outstanding debts. Not even Cary Grant could draw an ounce of compassion from this woman, I swear. She began by saying "you should have thought about that before violating our terms and conditions" and then, ploughing through my panicked denials of intent, proceeded to deal out threats regarding my credit rating and interest rates. My only chance to save myself, apparently, is to reduce the outstanding debt by 10% in the next two business days, so looks like the parentals, Joe and Aaron are all getting an awkward and pleading phone call.

Always read the fine print guys. What will I do now? Time to relent and give Deal or No Deal? a ring methinks...

Chris